Team Unity in Women's Sports

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

As a consultant to tennis coaches and players, I often hear that a big concern surrounds women’s teams and league play. Whining, complaining, bickering, pettiness and backstabbing seems to be rampant among this group.

To the extent that it’s true, I hypothesize that most of these middle aged and senior women are often not really athletes and have not participated in competitive sports before. They are social/recreational players who happen to compete on a team in a league. I believe that this lack of experience leads to unrealistic expectations about normal behaviors that occur during competition. These participants become overly sensitive, easily have their feelings hurt, personalize events and feel they should have more control and say over events than they do.

Adding to this is the fact that many times, the “coaches” are often the employees of the team members and their income and jobs are often tied to “not making waves”. As a result, “bad” or “inappropriate” player behaviors are often overlooked or result in only minor consequences.

I welcome thoughts and comments on this subject.

Obama: Lessons Learned

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

Reflecting on the inauguration I think about what can we learn from this amazing achievement. It strikes me that beyond Obama’s good looks, charm and intelligence is a work ethic that serves as a great model for all of us. Without this work ethic of dedication, discipline, perseverance and managing adversity, he never would have made it to this point in his life. On the other hand, even if he weren’t elected President, his values, goals and work ethic would serve him well in life regardless of the direction he chose.

To those who are dominated by pessimistic thinking, “ It’s too hard, too difficult, has never been done, can’t be done”, learn to challenge your pessimistic thoughts. Working hard and smart can lead to good results!

Dr. Albert Ellis

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

A reader recently commented on my you tube Cognitive-Therapy Video that Dr.Albert Ellis is considered the “grandfather” of Cognitive-Behavior Therapy and not Dr. Aaron Beck. Actually, Dr.Ellis is the founder of Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) a similar approach with some important differences in both principles and practice. REBT tries to get people to change their fundamental “beliefs” rather just their negative self-talk. Also, in REBT the therapist is often more vigorous, forceful and confrontational is getting clients to change their way of thinking than is typically done through Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.

There are two separate major training Centers for these approaches, the Albert Ellis Institute, based in New York and the Cognitive Therapy Center based in Philadelphia.

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