Newsletter
DR. ROBERT HELLER’S MIND-BODY NEWSLETTER
“Strategies for a healthy body and mind”
January 2012
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory” – Arthur Golden
Be aware of your doubt. Take time to reflect on the pros and cons of your decision. Once you have decided, stay the course and work in a committed way. Don’t look back just straight ahead. Don’t fear mistakes or bad decisions. No regrets! As the great tennis player, Billy Jean King said, “Be bold. If you’re going to make an error, make a doozey and don’t be afraid to hit the ball.”
BOOK OF THE MONTH
“Light on Life” by B.K.S. Iyengar, the 93 year old founder of the Iyengar style of yoga.
Mr. Iyengar interprets the philosophy of yoga (along with his personal philosophy) in a highly practical way which has many principles and practices very similar to the Western, modern day, cognitive-behavioral therapy. For example, in discussing the topic of dealing with adversity he says, “By facing up to adversity and suffering, and accepting it as a necessary means, our anxieties are resolved and disappear.” Acceptance Therapy, a modern variation of cognitive therapy espouses a very similar idea.
DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP
With 2012 having arrived, no doubt many of us have made “New Year’s Resolutions” with a goal towards improving ourselves. Yet, most people fail miserably at keeping their resolutions. Among the main reasons are:
- Having too many goals.
- Having goals that are too ambitious.
- Having goals that lack clarity and specificity.
- Having goals that lack a specific time frame for accomplishing.
- Having goals that don’t include the methods you will use to accomplish them.
- Failing to write and/or post goals in a visible place.
- Failing you review your goals regularly and your progress towards them.
An example of a good goal would be :
“I will lose 10 pounds over the next 2 months by eating more salads and vegetables, less bread and sweat deserts and increase my intake of water from 2-6 glasses of water per day. I will increase my exercise from 2 times of week of playing doubles (tennis) to 4 times a week, at least 2 of will be playing ‘singles’.”
FEAR OF ANTI-DEPRESSANT MEDS
According to a study reported in hypnosis master, Dr. Michael Yapko’s newsletter, the most frequent reason for a patients not disclosing depressive symptoms to their primary care physicians was the concern that they would be prescribed anti-depressants. Many people are afraid of the side effects of these medications. If physicians (and the general public) were more aware of the benefits of using cognitive-behavioral therapies for treating depression, many more individuals would seek help and likely learn to be LESS depressed less often. While anti-depressant medications may be necessary at times or even long term for certain individuals, many others can battle depression quite effectively with CBT, Hypnosis and related non-pharmacological methods.
This month my pocket sized guidebook, “DEPRESSION” is on sale! Order 1 copy through the products section of my website, www.cognitivetherapy.cc and get the second one free!
Happy New Year!
Dr. Bob
If you know someone else who’d be interested in receiving these mailings on mind-body skills and peak performance trainings, please encourage them to sign up through my websites, www.mentalskillstennis.com , www.cognitivetherapy.cc or send an e-mail to info@robertheller.net with the subject heading, “ATTN: add to e-mail list”. Thank you.
Be sure to check out the new blogs and articles on each of the websites as they are updated farily regularly.
If you have ideas for future articles or questions about your own performance, send them to me at info@robertheller.net.
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Quote of the Month
“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”- Carlos Castaneda.
I love this philosophy because it is so empowering, knowing that we can control our feelings, largely by controlling our thoughts. Think about how your thoughts affect your emotions and behaviors and how changing them might help you feel and behavior better.
Book of the Month
“A Year of Living Your Yoga” by Dr. Judith Lasater. Dr. Lasater is a psychologist, physical therapist and advanced teacher of the Iyengar style of yoga. Her book provides a daily idea to focus on for each day of the year. As I sit down to write this newsletter, today’s selection is, “Schedule yourself a pajama day once a week. We are so busy, busy, busy. Every week, plan ahead for a day or part of a day when you can stay home and rest or do simple tasks. Resting is part of life, too.”
Reading an idea out loud at the beginning of each day helps set your course in the right direction: An excellent investment of a few seconds of time.
RECOVERY FROM VIGOROUS EXERCISE WITH CHOCOLATE MILK
A series of recent studies and reviews concludes that good “old-fashioned” chocolate milk is an excellent post-exercise drink and is being increasingly used by high endurance athletes. Compared to plain milk, water or most sports drinks it has double the carbohydrates and protein content needed to replenish tired muscles. It has the bonus of providing added calcium, tastes good and is inexpensive. Where is my Hershey’s syrup?
THANKSGIVING
As the holidays are upon us, the idea of “An attitude of gratitude” has never been more important. Counting our blessings rather than our misfortunes is not new but actually DOING it may be. Do you take time to appreciate how fortunate you are? Do you acknowledge important people in your life? Do you give back when and wherever you can?
This year, I reflected on people who are important to me both near and far, and took time to make a brief phone call or to send an e-mail to let them know it. As a part of “giving back”, this year I am going to give something to our military personnel, many who have suffered tremendously as a result on our countries wars. Here it is:
FREE BOOKS TO MILITARY PERSONNEL, VETERANS AND THEIR FAMILIES
I am giving complimentary copies of the following books while supplies last to military personnel, veterans and families. My “self help” series includes pocket sized educational guides on the following topics: Anger, Marriage, Alcohol, Drugs. Visit the product section of my website, www.cognitivetherapy.cc to learn more about each publication. Then, e-mail your request with your mailing address. I will even pay the postage. Please only 1 book per household.
For non-military folks, the guidebooks make great presents to friends, families and colleagues. See the website for a listing of all 14 titles. Until Christmas, buy any 2 and get a third one for free!
Wishing you a warm holiday season with friends and family,
Dr. Bob
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DR. ROBERT HELLER’S
MIND-BODY NEWSLETTER
“PEAK PERFORMANCE IN SPORTS AND IN LIFE”
October, 2011
Quote of the Month
“I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: Try to please everybody all the time”- Herbert Bayard Swope
Getting along with others is a great goal to live harmoniously in society. When carried to an extreme, it makes us overly anxious and limits us in getting what we want. “People pleasing” or caring too much what other’s think about us, fearing their disapproval and/or rejection is based on the mistaken notion that we “need” other’s approval in order to feel good about ourselves and worthwhile. In essence, it is basing our self-worth on getting the stamp of approval from someone else. The late great psychologist, Dr. Albert Ellis termed this “love slobism”. In sports, it is played out all the time by those who get “nervous” when other’s are watching them perform; your team on the tennis court, your foursome on the golf course, or taking a foul shot during a basketball game. By learning to cultivate, “unconditional self-worth”, you can eventually strike a healthy balance between caring about what others think of you and what you think of yourself.
Yoga and You
My friend, former tennis partner, and medical doctor turned yoga guru, Dr. Tim McCall is working on his second book related to Yoga Therapy. He has identified over 50 different medical conditions that document yoga’s usefulness in and many of the mechanisms by which yoga can improve aerobic fitness, blood pressure and respiratory function. He also reported on how yoga is being used in the rehabilitating sports-related injuries like those that impact the rotator cuff.
Jewish High Holidays and Sports Performance
This month is the start of Rosh Hashanah a period of self-reflection ending 10 days later with Yom Kippur and a renewed commitment to living in a purposeful and meaningful way. When applied more narrowly to sports, reflection leads to awareness and awareness leads to opportunities to re-evaluate current practices and the choice to do things in a way that allows us to continue to grow and develop in our chosen sports and as people. You don’t need to be Jewish to benefit by this ancient ritual of self-reflection not does in have to be done only in October. Awareness Training can be an effective component of mental skills for athletes of all sports.
Fit Tennis
Fit Tennis is a newsletter recently started by my colleague, tennis teaching professional, Chris Hagman. I have agreed to write occasional articles for it. My first one appeared on September 18 and was on “Cardio Tennis”. Upcoming articles will address the issue of how to maintain your commitment to physical health and training and ways the fitness industry can inspire and provide incentives to remain actively involved in health and wellness practices.
Mental Skills for Golf
On Thursday, October 27th, I will be presenting a talk on “Mental Skills for Golf: How to Win the ‘Inner Game’”. This will be followed by a 6 week course where participants will learn to assess their mental strengths and weaknesses, manage their emotions, use imagery and self talk for improved performance and develop concentration and focusing skills to help players lower their scores. The program is sponsored by the Center for Group Counseling located on Boca Rio Road in Boca Raton, FL. For details, call them at 561 483-5300.
That’s it for this month.
Best to all-
Dr. Bob
If you know someone else who’d be interested in receiving these mailings on mind-body skills and peak performance trainings, please encourage them to sign up through my websites, www.mentalskillstennis.com , www.cognitivetherapy.cc or send an e-mail to info@robertheller.net with the subject heading, “ATTN: add to e-mail list”. Thank you.
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DR. HELLER’S MIND-BODY NEWSLETTER
“PERFORMING YOUR BEST IN SPORTS AND IN LIFE”
September 2011
Quote of the Month
“We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it”. Abe LincolnBig Abe could have been referring to what we popularly call, “the ego”- our sense of self worth. When we feel secure within ourselves we don’t have to prove ourselves to others or strive overly hard to win other’s approval. We are less likely to feel attacked or threatened or take offense by minor things and more able to forgive and forget when others act badly.
The Snare of Perfectionism
“When Artists Aim Too High”. That’s the headline of an article in the Wall Street Journal that talks about “the curse of perfectionism” being a source of grief not only for those suffer from it but by those who work with them. In referring to performing artists, “the trick is not to let it interfere with getting things done”. My mentor and teacher, the late, great psychologist, Dr.Albert Ellis was a prolific writer who produced hundred’s of articles and dozens of books, in part because he didn’t try to do it perfectly and wasn’t overly concerned with what others thought of his work.
The Power of Meditation
The relatively simple practice of meditation is finding its way in helping the thousands of wounded warriors coming back from the wars suffering from severe trauma and diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. Practicing for two twenty minute periods each day for an eight week period showed a 50% reduction in symptoms in a recent study. If it can be that helpful to those afflicted with the most serious of psychological problems, imagine how it might improve your life. I often teach my clients variations of relaxation methods not only to overcome specific problems but to improve the overall quality of their lives.
Hypnosis and Smoking
I recently was interviewed by Dr.Abbey Strauss, a psychiatrist who heads a program where he invites experts in various specialties of mental health to speak on the topic. The program is taped and available to be listened to free of charge! During the 20 minute interview, I discussed how hypnosis can be applied to smoking cessation and other addictive behavior. The interview will soon be available on my website for you to listen to free of charge. Many of the hypnotic and non-hypnotic suggestions are included in my self-help guide, “Freedom From Tobacco”, available on the products section of my website, www.cognitivetherapy.cc.
Upcoming Events
In September, I will be retuning to the fabulous Lake Mohonk Resort in New Paltz, New York to give a presentation on “Mental Skills for Tennis and Golf”.
In October, I will be giving a talk at the Center for Group Counseling in Boca Raton on “Mental Skills for Golf” as an introduction to a 6 week course. If you would like to participate, forward me your name, e-mail address and phone number and I will be sure you receive the sign up information when it is available.
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DR. HELLER’S MIND-BODY NEWSLETTER FOR PERFORMING AT YOUR BEST
May 2011
Quote of the Month “The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one’s work seriously and taking one’s self seriously. The first is imperative, the second is disastrous.”- Margot Foteyn (world class prima ballerina)
Think about where you fit in. What’s your emotional perspective? Do you need to separate out your performance from you self-worth?
Feature Article
“Getting from Good to Great” A recent story in the Wall Street Journal high lighting the impending rise of tennis superstar Novak Djokovic towards becoming the number one tennis player in the world raised some thought provoking reflection on what really are the main factors that lead to athletic greatness.
Coming from the tiny, poor, war torn country of Serbia, how is it that Novak and several others of his countrymen and women are among the best tennis players in the world? These players often lack the state of the art training facilities, coaching and equipment so often available to other players from wealthier countries and thought to be fundamental to athletic success. According to interviews, these players appear to start their sports later in life, don’t train as hard as their counterparts from other countries in the world and often have only limited support from their families who are too busy surviving and scraping out a living.
Do they just have far more talent than the rest of the pack? Are they more committed to making it due to their harsh life circumstances? Do they perform better under pressure because winning or losing a tennis match is not nearly as scary as getting hit by a bomb or bullet? Hopefully, journalists will follow up on these and other questions to help tease out the ingredients that help these elite athletes get to the top against all odds.
“Fits of Rage”
That’s the title of my newest article which appeared in the May 2011 issue of TennisLife Magazine. In the article, I highlight the bad behaviors of tennis legend, John McEnroe and turn things around to show readers what positive lessons we can learn from celebrities with major anger problems. For help with understanding and managing anger in yourself and others, go the products tab of www.mentalskillstennis.com and pick up your copy of “Anger Management”.
“Freedom From Distractibility”
Would you like to be a part of one of my next articles? Send your thoughts and suggestions to info@robertheller.net of the problems and solutions to improving concentration, attention and focus. Include your name and city and you could be “in print”.
“Top 10 Mistakes Sports Parents Make”
Are you the parent, coach or instructor of a young athlete? Now is your chance to contribute your ideas on this very important topic. In preparing for this upcoming article, I invite you to list 1 or 2 of the biggest mistakes you have made as a parent or observed in other parents. You don’t have to give your name. It’s not about blame but learning from mistakes. E-mail to me at info@robertheller.net.
NEWS AND EVENTS My presentation on “Sports Psychology: Helping Athlete’s Cope” was well received by the 34 attendees of the Palm Beach Chapter of the Florida Psychological Association. During the 2-hour workshop, I shared the essential features of Psychological Skills Training for sports and the types of clients and cases I have worked with over the past 20 plus years.
I was a guest on the Florida Psychiatric Association’s public webinar series and discussed the role of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy in both treating psychological problems such as fears and phobias and in working with athletes. REBT is a highly effective form of cognitive behavioral therapy, especially useful with anxiety and depression.
On June 2nd, I will be teaming up with a yoga teacher who works with athletes in presenting a talk and demonstration for tennis teaching professionals at the Florida USPTA’s annual convention. I will be discussing how ancient yoga philosophy and meditation practices along with modern cognitive and behavioral therapy methods can improve athletic performance.
Send your questions and comments to me at info@robertheller.net. If you like this newsletter, forward to your friends and relatives or have them sign up at www.mentalskillstennis.com.
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DR. HELLER’S MIND-BODY NEWSLETTER
“Peak Performance Training for Athletics, Business and Life”
APRIL 2011
Quote of the Month
“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that the oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure”-Peter Marshall
The take away from this quote is to embrace challenges and competition. This is what makes you stronger. Part of the reason Nick Bolliteri produced so many tennis champions is that he housed a large talent pool that had the opportunity to compete with and against each other: pushing each other to improve. Michael Chang, Jim Courier, Aaron Krickstein, Andre Agassi and so many more were at the same place at the same time. What an opportunity for growth and development of athletic excellence!
YOGA FOR KIDS
A recent article in the Wall Street Journal reported on two separate studies which found that yoga improved student’s behavior, physical health and academic performance and reduced feelings of helplessness and aggression. In numerous schools across the United States, yoga is being added to the curriculums in elementary schools. Most programs combine breath work with yoga poses and do not incorporate the spiritual or philosophical aspects of the practice. Yoga is already a regular practice for many top athletes so incorporating aspects of yoga into the training of young athletes is probably a very good idea.
OBESITY IN TEENAGERS
Nearly one in five teenagers are obese, more than triple the rate from 1980, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (reported in the Wall St. Journal). High blood pressure and cholesterol are increasingly turning up in younger people. My contribution to helping teens and adults cope is the pocket-sized self-help publication, “Weight Management”. The colored, illustrated, laminated and “small book” can easily be carried in a pocket or purse for convenient “on the spot use” whenever thoughts or urges to make unhealthy eating choices arise. Carrying a “transitional object” increases awareness and provides ready support to those who want to change their relationship with food but are easily distracted by stresses of life and the easy accessibility of cheap but poor food options available to them.
MIND OVER MATTER
I recently attended the annual conference of the Anxiety Disorders Association of America. Many of the presentations focused on incorporating the eastern meditation practice of “Mindfulness”. Mindfulness is simply noticing and becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings WITHOUT reacting or judging them. In what appears to be a paradoxical effect, “awareness without judgment” is believed to produce change “without trying”. So, next time you make a mistake, practice noticing it without reacting to it. Resist the urge to judge it or change it. Observe it and let it pass on by!
UPCOMING EVENTS
On April 15, I will be presenting a workshop for psychologists on “Sport Psychology: Helping Athletes Cope”. On May 17th, I will be giving a presentation on “Managing Dental Fears” to the North Palm Beach Dental Society. On June 2, I will be presenting to the USPTA tennis professional on “Blending Ancient Practices and Modern Psychology for Improved Performance”. My newest article, “Ask Dr.Heller” is now out in Tennis Life Magazine.
See you next month!
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
What a great quote. I like it so much I have it displayed on my business card!
Most of us wrongly believe that other people of events directly cause us to FEEL a certain way. Mrs. Roosevelt reminds us that ultimately WE determine how we feel by what we CHOOSE to think. The power of our thoughts and beliefs are so strong that they can largely determine our mood whether it is anxiety, anger, fear or depression. For more information on how this works, see the new articles on my clinical website, www.cognitivethereapy.cc and see how approaches like Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Cognitive Therapy, can improve your mood, outlook and performance- both on and off the court!
This month’s feature article is:
“Improving Your Game Through Self Study”
Practice, match play, clinics and lessons are all ways to improve your performance. However, don’t neglect the importance of self-study. As you may recall from school, some of the best students and performers on tests are those who not only listened and attended class regularly but “studied their notes” prior to the tests, reviewed their work in study groups with others and generally put in the “extra” time and effort. You can improve your game by following a similar strategy.
Here are examples of some specific things you can do:
1. After a lesson or clinic takes notes on what you learned. Review the notes before you go out to hit or play next time.
2. Videotape yourself and study the tapes to see how you really are instead of how you think you are.
3. Observe better players. Focus on specific aspects of their game that you would like to incorporate into your own.
4. Read instructional magazines.
5. Review instructional articles and videos on tennis websites.
6. After each match, make notes on specific aspects of your game. (I give my clients an “emotional report card” they can use to evaluate their mental skills).
7. Watch the Australian Open and other major tennis tournaments. Focus on details like movement, recovery after a shot, how the pros respond to a missed shot, etc. Listen to the analysis of the announcers and pay attention to what the players say AFTER the match.
Committing to on-going self-study whether it be your tennis game or others aspects of your life will usually pay big dividends in the long run. View improvement as life-long learning and enjoy the journey!
Upcoming Events
Next month, I will be heading to New Orleans to attend the annual meeting of the Anxiety Disorders Association of America.
For more information go to www.cognitivetherapy.cc or www.mentalskillstennis.com
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DR.ROBERT HELLER’S MIND-BODY NEWSLETTER
Sports and Counseling Psychology
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“Be bold. If you’re going to make an error, make a doozey, and don’t be afraid to hit the ball.” Billy Jean King
How many times have we tightened up or hit a ball tentatively for fear of making a mistake? Champions in any endeavor are willing to take calculated risks. Often times, the less we fear making mistakes, the less mistakes we make.
Yoga and Performance
The TREE pose is an excellent standing pose to help develop balance and lower leg strength. As you shift your weight to the right side, place your left foot against the inside of your right thigh, as close to the groin as possible. Your toes are facing downward. Your right leg is straight and strong. Hold the position for up to a minute. If you can, extend both arms straight up overhead. If you have trouble balancing yourself, do it initially against a wall. Repeat on the opposite side. (Consult a trained yoga teacher for greater safety and success in performing any pose).
Keeping those New Year’s Resolutions
Wishing and hoping rarely get the job done. In spite of our best intentions, most of our New Year’s resolutions tend to dissolve over the first few weeks of January. To have a greater chance of succeeding with our resolutions, here are some tips I work on with my private clients:
- Write down your resolutions.
- Have an objective way to measure your success.
- Set short, medium and long term strategies to accomplish larger goals.
- Set a time table for accomplishing each goal or parts of it.
- Review your plan daily.
- Consider rewarding yourself for staying the course and punishing yourself for falling off track.
- View set backs or lack of progress only as normal, temporary blocks and stay committed in your efforts to work through them.
- Use resources to help you when needed: other people, consultants, books, tapes, the internet etc.
The Whole is Greater than the Sum of its Parts
I recently participated in a charitable event that gave me great joy and satisfaction. A friend of mine, organized a “toy party” over Christmas for kids who were stuck in a hospital. He gathered a bunch of local teenagers, took them shopping at a toy store and we car pooled down to the hospital. We visited the playroom as well as some of the private rooms for the kids who were too ill to come out. It was both an uplifting and heart wrenching experience. In addition to the good feeling of helping other’s in need, it provided “emotional perspective”. Next time I am on the court and getting upset about a missed shot, poor call or losing a match, I can remind myself that compared to so many other things in life, this is just “small stuff” and one should NEVER sweat the small stuff!
New Article
My newest article, “The 7 Habits of Successful Teaching Pros” was just published in Racket Sports Industry magazine. I talk about Vision, Lifelong Learning, People Skills, Self-Care, Mentors, Economics and Gratitude. I think it can be applied to a great many professions and careers. It’s available on newsstands and by subscription. Or, e-mail me and I can send you the pre-publication version ( info@robertheller.net).
Upcoming Appearances
In mid January I will be returning to a Boca Raton company to present a talk on “Working more effectively as a Team” focusing on communication, assertiveness skills and dealing with difficult people and situations. Watch for upcoming articles on sports psychology coming out this year in “Tennis Life Magazine.”
Make it a great year!
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OCTOBER 2010
Welcome.
The U.S. Open provided lots of action and lessons we can learn from. One important lesson is NOT to be intimidated by the rankings. Many of the top ranked and seated players fell in the early rounds or didn’t get close to their expected finish, while a number of “lesser” players performed exceedingly well. By focusing on playing your best and not caring so much about whether you win or lose, you can sometimes turn the tide or the odds. Alternatively, you can cultivate a “Serena Williams” attitude of expecting to win every time she plays regardless of her opponent. If the belief in winning translates into the mental skills of tenacity, persistence and strategic decisions based on the opponent, score and circumstance, your chances of being successful will improve dramatically.
DEVELOPING THE TOTAL PLAYER
I am surprised how many times I see experienced tennis pros focus on teaching the technical part of the game without incorporating mental, emotional and athletic aspects of tennis. This is critical, especially in developing the game is adults who are not athletic or who have not participated in sports in their youth. For example, teaching anticipation skills, recognizing the direction, spin and speed of the ball, and training/practicing “springing” into the first step are areas that can and should be incorporated with every student at every age and level. Similarly, the mental and emotional skills of concentration, visual imagery, “attitude and behavior management” , deep breathing and related basic skills are often neglected or limited to just high performance players. You don’t need to be a sports psychologist to teach some of these skills or a high performance tennis player to benefit from them.
TENNIS BLOGS
I have dramatically increased the number of sports psychology tennis blogs on my website, www.mentalskillstennis.com. I invite you to read and comment on them! I will be also adding to the list of free sports psychology articles you can freely access on the site as well. If you have other topics you would like me to address in future blogs or newsletters, please let me know. You can e-mail me at info@robertheller.net
UPCOMING APPEARANCES
I will be presenting a “Mental Tennis Skills” clinic to approximately 60 women who play on teams and in leagues in Palm Beach County. The clinic is just for the members of a private club in Boynton Beach and will be held in November. Several other clinics are in the works. If you would like to have me present at your facility, have your tennis director or chair of the tennis committee contact me. The clinics are off court, fun, interesting and immediately useful. You don’t have to be a tennis professional to “think” like one.
TENNISMIND : SELF-HELP FOR MENTAL TOUGHNESS
The TENNISMIND CD Rom program is a mental conditioning program that can help any player improve their mental skills and performance under pressure. Based on self-hypnosis you are trained to get into a relaxed state and focus on key ideas and strategies to cope with 20 of the most common and difficult mental challenges tennis players experience. SPECIAL OFFER: This month, when you purchase a TENNISMIND program, you will receive a FREE copy of my book, “Manage Your Stress”. Order directly on the products page of my website, www.mentalskillstennis.com.
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Mind-Body Newsletter
Vol.13-December 2009
THANKSGIVING OFFER OPPORTUNITY FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT
There are many important life messages we can learn by reflecting on this holiday. By giving thanks for what we have and not what we lack, we create a positive energy and focus to move forward in our lives. By caring for others more than we care for and about ourselves, we learn about the joy of acting in self-less ways.
The new movie, “The Blind Side” provides a dramatic example of this as it focuses on what happens when you give unconditional love and respect to another person. It brings to life the meaning of the statement, “The more you give, the more you get”.
Did you take time around the Thanksgiving dinner table to say or reflect what you are thankful for? If you haven’t, don’t wait for the next holiday; take out pen and paper and write out all the gifts and opportunities you have been afforded in your life, from the smallest to the largest. By making this a regular practice, you will find yourself becoming more patient and tolerant with yourself and others. You will learn to keep a healthier perspective and find it far easier not to sweat the small stuff.
THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING
The book title by the same name, was written by Norman Vincent Peale more than 50 years ago and its message has never been more relevant. In an era of negativity, self-criticism and perfectionism, the impact of what we think and feed our brain has far reaching effects for how we feel about ourselves and how we behave. In my own books, work with clients and personal life, I make extensive use of “affirmations”, positive ideas and expressions. Here is a sample of some of my favorites:
“Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.”
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
“Life is a terminal illness-enjoy today.”
“Every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.”
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
“You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought.”
“Self-esteem is trying to do the best you can and being satisfied with the result.”
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
There are books on affirmations where you can choose a “thought” for the day to read and reflect on. Not a bad way to start your day!
THE SCIENCE OF EXERCISE AND MOOD
A recent article in U.S. News and World Report found that aerobic activities such as running, biking and walking for 30 minutes a day had positive psychological and physical effects on mood. In addition, the use of an “exercise log” helps people to maintain their exercise routines. While “strength training” may provide similar benefits to mood, there is not yet enough evidence to support this recommendation.
Another report out of Princeton University on “Why Exercise Makes you Less Anxious” suggests that it may take between 3-6 weeks for you to notice a change in anxiety levels following an exercise routine.
My take: stretching, strengthening and moderate aerobic type exercise should be combined in a daily routine or sport and/ or exercise.
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“When one gets beaten by somebody better, one has to know how to lose with humility.”
Rafael Nadal – Top Professional Tennis Player
BETTER IN THE BAHAMAS
My 3-day trip to provide mental skills training to elite junior tennis players in the Bahamas shows the growing international interest in providing youth with tools they can use in sports and in life to be better competitors and cope with pressure both on and off the tennis courts. Special thanks to owner/director Bradley Bain for sponsoring the program.
GIVE THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE
The newest edition to the pocket-sized self-help series I have authored for Luxart Communications is on the topic of “Depression” and should be out by the end of the year. The guides are practical, up-to-date and combine my many years of working with clients with the best strategies reported in the field. They are available on the products section of my website, www.robertheller.net.
See you next month!
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Mind-Body Newsletter
Vol.12-November 2009
Wisdom comes from varied people and places. I enjoyed reading a small piece written by Wally Amos, the founder of Wally’s Muffin Company. The title is “Be positive regardless”. Here is a brief part of it: “ We have been conditioned to believe that adversity is negative. Overcoming adverse situations is how we gain strength and character. It focuses us to get on top of the circumstances and not lie down under them. Adversity reminds us that we are stronger than we could ever imagine.”
Every day, the financial publication, Investor’s Business Daily prints “10” Secrets to Success and highlights one for readers to focus on that day. I think they are all worthy behaviors and attitudes to strive towards.
- HOW YOU THINK IS EVERYTHING. Always be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.
- DECIDE UPON YOUR TRUE DREAMS AND GOALS. Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.
- TAKE ACTION. Goals are nothing without action. Don’t be afraid to get started. Just do it.
- NEVER STOP LEARNING. Go back to school or read books. Get training and acquire new skills.
- BE PERSISTENT AND WORK HARD. Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.
- LEARN TO ANALYZE DETAILS. Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes.
- FOCUS YOUR TIME AND MONEY. Don’t let other people or things distract you.
- DON’T BE AFRAID TO INNOVATE: BE DIFFERENT. Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.
- DEAL AND COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE EFFECTIVELY: No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate others.
- BE HONEST AND DEPENDABLE:TAKE RESPONSIBILITY:Otherwise, numbers 1-9 won’t matter.
NEW ARTICLE
My article, “Are your players good sports?” was just published in “Racquet Sports Industry” and features a sportsmanship quiz I developed for coaches and parents to use with players in helping to foster good character. I remember an important phrase I came upon some time ago: “Sports doesn’t teach character, it reflects it”. Let’s hope more parents and coaches take the lead in emphasizing “sportsmanship” as much as they do “winning”.
UPCOMING WORKSHOP
I am delighted to have been invited to put on a 3 day Mental Toughness Training Course, November 6-8 for the elite junior athletes and their parents at the National Training Center in Nassau, Bahamas.
RETHINKING ANTI-DEPRESSANT MEDICATIONS
The October 09 edition of Consumer Reports On Health reported a study that found 90% of people who took anti-depressant medication experienced at least one side effect including sexual problems, weight gain and in rare cases, suicidal thinking. Up to 30% found the side effects to be so bad that they stopped taking the drug.
LIFESTYLE CHANGES CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE
According to an article by Dr. Edward Rosick for Life Extension, high blood pressure or hypertension, affects over 50 million people in the United States and contributes to the death of almost 250,000 people a year. The DASH diet, which restricts salt intake, along with losing weight and quitting smoking can make a big difference in improving your health and well being.
To encourage you and your friends to make a positive lifestyle change, I am offering 1 free pocket-sized self-help guide for every 2 you purchase. You can choose from books on Stress, Weight, Smoking and Alcohol. Go to www.robertheller.net and click on the products page. Order 2, and e-mail the 3rd title you would like to receive for free to info@robertheller.net.
GETTING RID OF BACK PAIN
The November issue of “Natural Solutions” magazine featured an article of “How Integrative Therapies Can Heal Back Pain”. It looked at a case study of a woman suffering with debilitating back pain and her experiences with different types of care and modalities including: herbs, psychotherapy, chiropractic, physical therapy, Rolfing, acupuncture, massage therapy and yoga.
Cutting to the chase, she gets better. In fact, approximately 80% of people with back pain get better with or without treatment. However, the 20% who don’t need to play around with the mix of traditional and non-traditional approaches to see what combinations work best for them.
Remember, worry and stress in one’s life can be reflected in muscular tension and tightness. As the tension is held for longer periods of time, the muscles eventually go into spasm and then pain. Learning to balance your life and reduce its many pressures can help in eliminating some of the most common causes of back pain.
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Mind-Body Newsletter
Vol. 10, September 2009
TEXTING TROUBLES
A series of reports suggests that texting and the use of cell phones while driving increases the risk of accidents to that of someone who is legally drunk behind the wheel. As a driver, you need to eliminate this practice. As a passenger, you need to be vigilant of those who are driving and protect your own safety by insisting they not make or receive calls or texts while driving.
SMART RECOVERY
Self Management and Recovery Training is a national FREE non-profit alcohol and substance abuse program with groups around the country and on-line. It is an alternative to AA and based on cognitive-behavioral therapy principles of recovery and relapse prevention. For more information check out www.SMARTRECOVERY.org.
ON-LINE THERAPY AND DEPRESSION
According to a study in Australia reported Consumer Reports Health (Sept. ‘09), an 8-week program of on-line counseling consisting of e-mails, group chat and homework assignments was just as effective as traditional face-to-face treatment.
THE ‘LINGERING’ POSITIVE FEELINGS OF EXERCISE
According to a researcher at the University of Vermont, in a comparison between two groups, one that rested for 20 minutes and one that performed aerobic exercise for 20 minutes, the exercise group reported better moods for up to 12 hours post exercise.
BI-POLAR VS. DEPRESSION
In a recent study, 40% of patients coming in for an evaluation were not correctly diagnosed for bi-polar syndrome. While they reported symptoms of depression they failed to recognize and report symptoms such as persistent irritability, and elevated mood just before or after periods of depression. As a result, medication treatment was only given for depression. One suggestion is to bring a close friend or relative in as part of an evaluation to get a more accurate diagnosis and better treatment.
ASSESSING A SLEEP PROBLEM
Do you have trouble falling or staying asleep? Do you have episodes of disturbed sleep? Are you tired or sleepy during the day?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you may have a sleep problem or disorder that can not only affect your performance at school or work but your health and safety (driving, accidents, etc.) Don’t medicate yourself with alcohol or over the counter medications or look for a quick fix by the commercials hawking prescription meds (remember Michael Jackson!). Get a competent evaluation by your medical doctor, mental health professional or sleep specialist to learn what your treatment needs and what the best options are.
CAN I BE HYPNOTIZED?
According to hypnosis expert, Dr. David Spiegal, about two-thirds of adults are at least somewhat hypnotizable. Good signs are: having a good imagination, getting easily absorbed in a movie or novel and having a sense of trust. I often use hypnosis with clients with a wide range of issues including pain management, performance enhancement, irritable bowel and smoking!
SEPTEMBER APPEARANCES
I will be at the Florida Tennis Smash on Friday, Sept. 4 at the Marriott Hotel in Boca Raton, FL from 3:30-5:00pm providing information and brief consultations to junior players, their coaches and parents.
On September 22, I will be presenting a specialty workshop in Marco Island, FL on “Bringing Sports Psychology Skills to the Courts” for coaches attending the World Conference of the United States Professional Tennis Teaches Association.
Please share this newsletter with friends and send your comments, questions and suggestions to me at info@robertheller.net.
Until next month…
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Mind-Body Newsletter
Vol. 9, August 2009
FAT BURNING ADVICE
According to fitness expert and sports nutritionist, Donna Mertl, for healthy individuals, the best way to burn fat is to exercise the first thing in the morning BEFORE eating. You should perform some form of cardio exercise for 20-45 minutes 3-4 times a week at 75% of your maximum heartrate.
THE POWER OF THE MIND
On a recent segment of the SPORTS SCIENCE show, the power of the mind was clearly demonstrated on camera. A professional boxer’s “punching power” was measured while hitting a training dummy. He was told to hit the dummy as hard as he can to establish a baseline. He then spent 30 seconds getting himself as “psyched” as he could by thinking of something very upsetting (with his trainer adding verbal motivation). He then punched the dummy again and increased the power of his punch by a whopping 60%! In the last experiment he was injected by a doctor with a shot of epinephrine equivalent to the amount that might be given to someone whose heart had stopped. His punching power following the injection was greater than the baseline punch but LESS than the punching power under the “mental” stimulation condition. Bottom line: training your mind can get you “whopping” results!
SLEEPLESSNESS
ABC news reported a study by the National Sleep Foundation that estimated a third of all Americans are losing sleep due to worries about finances, the economy and jobs. Rather than pop pills, a power nap during the day may allow you to recoup some of your lost sleep and reduce some of the ill effects of sleep deprivation. Better still, learning and using simple relaxation methods and sleep “hygiene” that provide natural methods to reduce worry and allow you to get your ZZZ’s. You can find additional useful methods in “Manage Your Stress” is available on the products page of www.robertheller.net.
MENTAL SKILLS ACROSS AGE AND ABILITY LEVELS
That’s the title of my newest article, a version of which was just published in “Tennis Life” magazine. Visit my website and check out that and a number of other free articles.
“L” IS FOR “LONGEVITY”
LIFESTYLE: Out with junk food, tobacco and excessive alcohol, in with small amounts of healthy food and quality sleep, exercise, relaxation, etc. You get the picture.
LAUGHTER: A little goes a long way. Smiling and laughing makes us feel good and is good for the immune system.
LOVE: The Beatles had it mostly right, “All You Need Is Love”. Loving yourself and others provides meaning and satisfaction in life. As a friend of mine once said, “Relationships are the currency of life.”
Your comments and questions and contributions to the newsletter are welcome.
Until next month…
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